These People Are Assholes

For the past week, these stupid power walkers have been meeting outside my bedroom window @ around 8:00. They talk too loud. They giggle @ nothing. They lean on my black car. In fact they are so loud I can hear them from my second floor apartment window:

I have learned the following things about them:

Jerk A has a daughter @ NYU. "She is doing just amazing!"

Jerk B loves her new flip flops with toe support.

Jeck C likes to not eat @ the Northside Grill, but loves to drink the free coffee they put outside for customers who are waiting for a table.

For my Whole Foodies: to answer your questions/concerns: Jerk D (green shirt) may look like Mary Beth in Admin, but after further investigation, I have proven that to be false.

Luckily I has class @ 8 the next morning, so if I see them leaning on my car, I can rightfully take them out.

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Fun/Gross Fact: After seeing this girl playing a game where you straddle a broom and ride like a witch, it totally grossed me out. Is this sanitary??? At least wear some pants, please.

Want to meet weirdo's?

Well, work @ Whole Foods Market. There are plenty to go around. Twice.

For example today, I was working next to my co-worker Rob, who loves to compliment his customers. He was ringing up a nice, quiet looking mid 40's woman and her husband. Rob hands the husband the bag of groceries, the husband walks off. The polite yet quiet woman slides her credit card. One cannot help but notice the masssive rock of a wedding ring on her hand.

Rob: Why, what a beautiful ring, mam!

Married Lady (who's face twisted into a creepy smile): Yeah, I swallow.

UM...TMI. A simple "thank you" would have been more then enough. Perv.

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Fun Fact: I read an article that stated that Kevin Spacey's (<-----who I looooove) older brother is a "professional" Rod Stewart impersonator. I had no idea that there was a demand in this field of work. Lame-o.

Chedda

This is what I ate today:

A grilled cheese sandwich.

Cheese pizza.

A slice of Colby Jack cheese.

2 pieces of three Cheese bread.

Doughnut (a gift from Boy Toy).

I think I have a problem.

I even Googled "cheese" and I found this scary image:

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Fun Fact: I am soooo pumped for Halloween!! And so are these guys:

WHO CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE?????

And Us Weekly isn't helping with their mystery pictures....Welcome to my secret Dorkness.

For the past month, everytime I watch an episode of SATC, B.T. always says the same thing:

B.T.: I just don't get it. Mr. Big is not hot; Carrie just likes him because he is rich.

Which makes me a bit defense. I don't know why. Oh wait I do, because he is WRONG.

I have taken the responsibility of conducting a survery. The rules are as follows:

Only answer ONCE. (for Richard)

Only answer if you know what your talking about.

This is serious business. Ready?

Carrie really.......

	loves Mr. Big!
	wants his money.

skip to results

Survey by Quibblo

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Fun Fact: Ants do not sleep. Little fuckers.

Poop Book

You really can buy anything on Amazon.com. Including this book:

Come on, you know you want it.

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Fun Fact: Mr. Clean was on the list of sexiest men alive in 1998. For real.

Ypsi Chuck Norris Shrine

After visting the men's restroom in Andrew's Bar in Ypsi, B.T. exited with a ton of questions for me.

B.T. Did you know that Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves?

Me: Uh, no.
B.T. What about it takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes?

Me: For real?

B.T. Well, according to the men's bathroom wall, he is close to amazing.

These statements caused Liz D and myself to investigate these claims for ourselves. Here are a few of our findings:

I also learned this evening:

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman.....over the phone.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

I had no idea.

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Fun Fact: Boy Toy and I got matching grillz for our anniversary:

I HATE THE RADIO

After 10 minutes of listening to the radio today, I quickly remembered why I had stopped in the first place.

Ex. A. Some old lady radio talk host today described a man as a "more better speaker". How ironic since she was annoying. Um...."better" is all you need there, dork.

Ex. B. 97.9 is having a Hot Baby Mama contest. The D.J. said "Please download your hottest pics to our website to enter". The he repeated "download" about 4 times. I wanted to call and say upload, upload, upload.

I almost turned the radio off until I switched to 89X and there was a Depeche Mode block. And it totally made my day.

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Fun Fact: This picture is totally real. Cute overload.

..

I am so not kidding.

If one more person tells that Brittney Spears shaved her stupid fucking head, I swear to god I will decapitate you. It's a sad world when this is the top story on CNN all morning. Like there are not more important things happening in our world right now. Barf.

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Fun Fact: Everyone should watch Marie Antoinette this week. It is really beautiful.

Observations

Since I am not in school, I have finally had time to enjoy a book that was not a school book. I recently read Chuck Klosterman's "Killing Yourself to Live". It was fun, but I could not stop looking @ his picture in the back cover. It was seriously distracting. Chuckie looks way too much like my friend Joey.

Chuckie:

Joey:

Weird, huh!?!

No, Title Please.

Money sucks. I have been trying to save money and find it close to impossible. Lately when I make purchases I find myself do a simple equation:

a (price of my purchase) and dividing it by b (the amount of an hour or hours spent @ work).

Since I hate working, I find it very effective. For example, today I really wanted a Beef Satay. Yummy. It costs $7.99. Then I remind myself:

1.I am trying to save money.
2.I probably won't eat the whole thing.
3.That the meal equals 40 minutes I spent ringing up assholes @ work.

Then I go home, surf the internet and find these pictures. My spirits are totally lifted:




For those of you who were not working @ Applebee's in 2002, this was Eric's going away present to our manager Shelly.
And she loved it.





Eric claims that Applebee's still uses this tray. In case you need to know, this tray resides @ the Applebee's on Green Road.



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Fun Fact: I read that the Bible is the most purchased and shoplifted book.