The Money Maker!!!!!

B.T. got this awesome present X-Mas morning. Amazing, oh I know.
His face is not showing his true happiness that I know is eating him alive.

All I want to do is make grilled cheeses all day long and sell them on EBay.

UPDATE ON ME NOT HAVING BABY: Richard's mom knows that I am really NOT pregnant. She even whispered into his ear Christmas morning, "I heard the bad news".



Here is a picture of my lovely lady friend being a dork as usual. This was her birthday and she thought that it would be awesome to get her picture taken with the weirdo Boxcar Kid.
WRONG. And yes, those lines on his face are for real. Anyway, Slava saw this on good 'ol MySpace and left me this message:

December 27, 2007 11:17 AM Oh my God, I know that weirdo, that's Dirty Dick Vick!!! I watched him bob for roadkill...hopefully after he licked Dianer's leg...

Please someone tell me what bobbing for roadkill is because she has yet to elaborate and I just can't take it any longer.


xoxoxoxo

Crazy shit.

Sorry guys. My holiday and place of employment has been INSANE.
I guess everyone knows that my friend got fired for tackling a shoplifter.
Or story HERE. or yahoo, or Fark.

The news has been all over my work and people for all over the country have been calling work to tell my managers how terrible they are. Customers are interrogating me.
It is pretty crazy and annoying.

At least I come home to this cutie:

Thoughts.

I am turning into Dwight K. Schrute:

Question: When a man has another woman, she is called his mistress, when a woman has another man, he is called her _____________.

Question:

Question: Why is it when I am feeling sad, I go visit this image on Butchies page and this totally cheers me up? (besides the fact that I am stalking him)

Discuss.

I like puppies, not babies.

I have been playing way too much of "The Sims" on the Wii, and time no longer matters.

This goofball has been my Boy Toy for 4 years now.



As an anniversary gift, he was sweet enough to tell his boss, mom and sister that I was pregnant. I AM NOT.
What an asshole. I almost called off Christmas. If I get booties in my stocking or a second plate of helpings at dinner, I am so fucking out of there.

Question: If there is a bad baby that you know of, and the baby is not present, is it okay to refer to that baby as an "asshole"?

Zombie Carnival Part 2

No one freak out. There are going to some boobs below.













At the end of the dance, they killed the host for the evening and turned him into a zombie......I have no idea where this pic is.....



And then there was a fire show...





I was watching the Rob Zombie's version of Halloween and i pretty much loved it except there was one question that kept driving me insane:

Please tell me why hot ass Sheri Moon Zombie would take care of some drunk, fat unemployed loser? I mean, she's stripping the support this asshole and HER kids, and who the hell is this guy? He's not the father of any of the kids. he hits on her teenage daughter, swears at the baby, and hates Mikey.

Makes no sense.

BREAKING NEWS ALERT.

So once upon a time, I was a manager for the city parking. I lasted about 4 years till this guy Frank came to be my boss. Every winter he would flip out about snow, snow plowing, and snow shoveling. He started calling me @ 4:00 a.m. every morning to see how much snow was on my sidewalk. Seeing as how I got off work at midnight, this quickly became ANNOYING.

side note: He was mean, perverted, and smelled like salami subs.

The final straw was when he wrote me up for not answering my phone in the middle of the night to discuss snow plans. We ended up making up later, and he STILL calls me to ask me if I want to work for him again. NEVER!!!!!

My former co-worker Ed came to see me @ WFM today to tell me that Frank had a mild heart attack. I kid you not, RIGHT AFTER THE FIRST SNOW FALL.

Here's my solution, so I don't feel like an asshole:

Yep, I am a damn softy.

DAMN CRAIGS LIST.

I clicked on this: " Pups Trainers Handlers and Admirers - m4m " being all innocent thinking I was going to find puppies.

WRONG.

"I would like to hear from people in the SE Michigan area interested in Puppy Role Play. I would like to put together a Pup group for monthly or bi monthly Mosh and social activities. Please contact me if interested"

I feel like I got PUNKED or something.
Here is you daily dose of cute to make up for the nightmare I just imprinted in your brains:

************

Fun Fact: More than 40% of pet owners talk to their pets on the phone or through an answering machine.

Guilty as charged.

I am the coolest.

There is a blizzard outside.
My stupid cab driver has been holding cell phone hostage for the past few days.

P.S. To the weirdo who sent me a email about piercing girl:
No, I am not some weirdo who loves to watch people get holes punched into their back. I did not even know this was going to happen. I went to see my hot friend Slava dance at the Zombie Carnival.

Slava came to work and said "I just joined this burlesque group and I am going to strip while hula hooping and then the hula hoops are going to be set on fire.
So I was like sure, I'll take pictures, just don't get burned.

I'm a ever loyal friend. Chill the fuck out.

Here's some jam I made. Yeah, and I am now part old lady.

.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Zombie Carnival Part 1

Good thing there is a blizzard outside, this way I don't have to let my homies down.

This chick totally got her wings last night.......









My friend, Turbow (yes, she does have the most BAD ASS last name in the entire world; if she was a guy a would marry her just to "Emily Turbow") almost barfed during this.
"It is so crowded in her. How is she going to walk around with all that shit sticking out her back without getting one ripped out?"

And then I almost barfed.


Ray was the sanatation guy, who cleaned up all the blood/glass/bras/cement chucks after each act. Good thing we came sanitized and prepared. He almost got his face ate off.



This was one of the many side show acts. This dude laid all over some nails. First he had some chicks stand on him, and then some dude hit him with a sledge hammer.
Exciting, oh I know......



You can totally tell that the hammer guy loves this a bit too much.



I'll be eating fritos and watch "Man Bites Dog" for the 100th time, if anyone would like to join me.

Zombie OVERLOAD

This is where is was tonight:



And this is what someone who waited 45 minutes for a cab in 10 degree weather looks like:






I got home, a little too shit faced, numb, and charming.
B.T. was a little surprised to find me with zombie blood on my arms, hand, purse, and pants. I was totally oblivious.

I've got a like 150 pictures to sort through, but I am in recovery mode.

Here is a sneak preview of what a hot burlesque dancer my little Slava has turned into:



More to come, when I get off my lazy ass.