Stop.

I have gotten three messages from people on MySpace in the last week who are talking like those damn "LOL catz".
This is totally unacceptable.


P.S. Just in case you didn't know.......



Take that NaBloPoMo. I did it.

Why I hate school........

I am bored with the way this page looks, so I will probably change the layout like 8 times today because that's how I roll. The layouts on here suck. Too bad I'm not a HTML nerd.

This pic was confusing to me.

By confusing I mean, awesome after my eyes adjust.

(Batman Sidewalk ART):

P.S. I am a bad ass.

I love Maddox.

I am so pumped to get these pictures back.
I thought that they were gone forever:

I met Maddox one day and it was amazing.
I had to wait like an hour to get my damn book signed, but whatever.
When it was finally almost our turn to meet the master, some douche bag in front of us thought that it would be romantic to propose to this girlfriend in front of Maddox and hold up the line.
The "romantic" is lucky to still be walking today.

********

Fun Fact: The first person to find me THIS, gets a prize.

Holy Shit, I have a day off.

Today's goals:
STOP watching "Engaged and Underage".
Actually do some home work.
Kick the asses of 3 people @ UNO on XBOX Live.
Figure out where to store my bike for winter.
STOP staring @ Butchie in this book.




What I have learned today:
If I ever eat a Chili's Awesome Blossom, I will die instantly.
I am turning into my dog (Note the matching dots).



*****************
Fun Fact: The REMIX kicks in at 30 seconds. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better.

I love Craigs List

This is for Chels, because I cannot accurately quote things:

"best of craigslist > college station > Trojan Extended Pleasure Condoms (5) and bottle of wine
Originally Posted: Wed, 26 Sep 17:08 CDT

Trojan Extended Pleasure Condoms (5) and bottle of wine

-------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-09-26, 5:08PM CDT


My ex and I broke up earlier this month. He forgot 5 of his Trojan Extended Pleasure Condoms (with climax control lubricant) in my bathroom. My new guy isn't a 23-year-old premature ejaculator, so he and I have no need for them. If you'd like them, come and get'em.
Also have a $15 bottle of wine I got as a Valentine's day gift that I'll never open. It's been in the fridge since February. Can't remember what kind it is off the top of my head, but if you're interested, ask and I'll go look.



Location: CS
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests"

Metallica is for cry babies.

Good Luck, Dude.
Seriously, Metallica has not come out with a good album in like 15 years.
But I did enjoy the documentary when all they did was fight and cry.

P.S. I watched "Apocalypto" last night and my stomach was seriously turning from the tension.

Snow

I'm in a bad mood today.

It is snowing like crazy. I so need new tires.
All the customers at work are like "Oh wow, it's snowing, how wonderful."
And I am all like "Oh, wow, you are so f-ing observant, and no, it is not wonderful."

And seriously, WTF is wrong with SiteMeter? I need someone else to turn to.

I'm just having a string of bad luck lately.
For Example:



I am going to eat a vicodin now and call it a day.

Friday I'm in love.

My mom is insane. So are her cats.

I came to this conclusion after I saw her try to take the cats out with a bottle of cleaner.
They were digging in her trash like wild dogs.
She justified her actions by telling me the cleaner is "diluted".

Something just isn't right here.



Friday was awesome. I went to a wedding. Not only was the wedding sweet, but Michael Jackson made an appearance:





And this is why I shouldn't drink. It makes my face swell up, my eyes all funny, and I lose any chances of ever being called photogenic:



Today, I am paying.

My Brain Hurts.

Shit is all out of whack over here.

I have been trying to import my old blog from a secret place.
Slowly, but surely.
I didn't realize that I could change the date here.
Reorganizing is in order.
There's some oldness you can enjoy, or not.

Please excuse the mess, here and everywhere.
I am hanging out with my little sis, and I am frazzled.
Seriously, this is her teenage hot pink bedroom, not mine.

Family Fun-Rock Band.

Google rules so hard.

Happy Thanksgiving, lovies.
I am so lame. I taking Rock Band over to my parents house so that me and my sibs can all play.
Then I will stuff my face with so food that I may go into hibernation for the next few days.

Holy shit.

Two faced cat:



*************
Fun Fact: Egyptians once shaved their eyebrows as a sign of mourning when they lost a beloved cat.

So not Spice Girls.

I want to quit my jobs so I can rock out all day long.


Steph is in town. We made a bad ass band "Good Flo".
Good since her last name is Goodman. (on vocals)
Flo cause mine is Flores. (on geeee-tar).


B.T. was like "yeah, good name for you girls."
Me: What do you mean, FOR GIRLS?"

Yeah, he totally thought that our name had to do with menstruation.

Good Flo founding members, already celebrating their record deal:




*****************
Fun Fact: Thirty-eight percent of all game players are women. In fact, women over the age of 18 represent a significantly greater portion of the game-playing population (31%) than boys age 17 or younger (20%).

That right, bitches.

Ol' Dirty

A bit overdue:

R.I.P.Old Dirty Bastard (11/15/1968 - 11/13/2004)
a.k.aRussell Tyrone Jones
a.k.a. O.D.B.
a.k.a. Dirt McGirt
a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus
a.k.a. had the craziest obituary EVER. I will recite it for you if you ask me in person.

70 is the new 90

There's a 70 year old professor from EMU offering girls (all under the age of 25) at my work $300 cash for their friendship.
He even comes with money ready, all in $20's.
Seriously, he is so old that when he blinks I can imagine him laying in his coffin.
Barf City.

I am pumped for Thanksgiving, the few times I get to see all these guys at once, my Sib's.
Hopefully my Dad won't set the turkey on fire this year.

And It said "Ice Cube's a PIIIIIMP!"

And who says that you can't go on a field trip in college?
Email from Teach:
"Tomorrow we have something special planned. We will be on a field trip in downtown Ann Arbor. I will take roll at 1:00 at the University of Michigan Off Site Gallery, we will see:
Persian Visions: Contemporary Photography from Iran. "

Me=PUMPED.

Too bad my whole class looked like a bunch of crazy tourists. 20 kids strolling down South U, camera's hanging from our necks. People were totally staring. Zoe and I had to take full advantage of the situation. We posed with the lawnmower man:



In front of a massive group of girls wearing sweatpants tucked inside of their UGG boots:


Garin was pretty determined that we all go out and shoot black and white film at the Law Quad.
He said it would be amazing because the squrriels just run up and pose for you. I had already used all my film, but I had to see if he was for real. I was in denial, but those little fatso's did.





This guy brought this totally gangsta AMAZING BOOK.
Things got out of control. Gang signs where thrown.


Garin, my teacher, was not impressed, as you can clearly see by his face:


All I can think about now is Ice Cube singing
"Today I didnt even have to use my a.k.
I got to say it was a good day. ooh-wa-ohh."

**************
Fun Fact: You are some what safe with me, loves.
60%

I LOVE COKE.

as in The Classic.

I went to Flim Flam yesterday and ordered a Coke. I drank it.

Today I went back and ordered another.

"You mean Pepsi?" asked the counter lady.

I feel so betrayed.

******************

Fun Fact: I almost got all religious and stuff after seeing this:

What?!? 2 of my top 14 favorite things in one can?

Then I saw the words "DIET COKE", and I just knew it was too good to be true.

Annoying Lunch

Red Hot Lovers is the place to go for lunch today if you feel like yelling @ your friends. The construction is unbelievable. Seriously, if the bulldozers where not so loud, I could have probably held a conversation with the construction workers.
I had to clean so much construction dust of my table, but it was worth every single cheesy fry.

******************

Fact I learned too late: Construction dust poses health risks because it often contains harmful substances like asbestos, man-made mineral fibers, cement residue, and wood dust. Yeah, I totally ate a little of each today.

Somebody's Got A Case of The Mondays.

I almost died x2 today.

Some old lady almost ran me off the road today. And no, she did not stop to see if she had killed me.
My tire was seriously close to snapping off.
Rude, rude, rude.



$90 later (for new tire rod) and one hour late to work @ the old LameStop, I walked into the biggest mess the store has every been in. Boxes of Christmas madness piled so high I couldn't even get into the bathroom. After I cleared a path, I entered to bathroom where I then had to clear a 2 foot path just pee. Me + 50 boxes=pissed.



After 4 hours of remodeling/marketing madness, 3 crazy sweaty crack heads come in 5 minutes before the store closes. Just so you know, NEVER TRADE IN PILES OF SHITTY GAMES WITHIN ONE HALF HOUR OF CLOSING OR I WILL RUIN YOU. Yeah, I am sad to admit this, but I am immature like that.
To make a long story short, these crack heads (who needed cash ASAP for "medicine") proceeded to flip out in the store over 20 cents. This went on for about 20 minutes or so, which included, swearing, more sweating, threats and almost tears. Finally, one crack had said "F-this, we out." Then they proceeded to get into a psychical altercation in the parking lot.

I am frazzled. It is so bed time.




************
Fun Fact: About a million people each day in the US are absent from work due to stress-related disorders.

Smarty Pants.

Thanks to Raymi, I found this sweet test:

I excessively use the words "pumped" and "awesome".
But since I occasionally through in the word "excessively", I guess it all evens out.

Plus, shout out's to the whole spell check thing, which has saved my ass on several occasions.

I almost killed myself today.

I seriously ate like half a Boston Cream pie flavored cake thing. I read the nutritional info AFTER stuffing my face. This small ass cake supposedly contains 10 servings.
Now the lesson to be learned goes as follows:

• My stomach is in knots.
• I think I might die.
• It is amazing how black and white can make a dying person look 1,000 times more fabulous.

I want to barf.

Setting: my lunch break, in a room full of computers.

Manager @ work(who's dating my co-worker): Watch my seat @ the computer please.
Me: Whatev.

While I am waiting for the fucker to come back, some skank sends him the following instant message: (just like this in all caps):
"I REALLY ENJOYED SLEEPING WITH YOU."

I quickly closed the i.m. window.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THIS.
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT HIM, THE SKANK OR MY CO-WORKER.

I feel blah. Here's a better day.
Me, when I was fat 3 years ago cause I ate way too much pizza in Chicago.
Slices bigger than my face.
Anyway, I totally was feeling up this stud till some mom with like 8 kids gave me a dirty look. Totally ruined the mood:



Oh, Lego man, your tie was shit, but damn you ruled.

10 more days till ROCK BAND!

B.T. and I got the scoop that Best Buy had a demo of "Rock Band" to play. It was so awesome. We played 5 whole songs, and had all of Best Buy jammin. I am counting the days until it is released so I can rock out all day long. Seriously, I may even quit my job.

We are going to buy the entire kit, which includes mic, drums, and the new sexy guitar.



We already have a few other XBOX 360 guitars at home, so we are are ready for the whole four piece band. B.T. has already claimed the drums. Woj (if you come to Michigan), you're in. I am so not singing......any volunteers to be in our band? It will be awesome, I swear.



**************
Fun Fact: The average game player is 33 years old and has been playing games for 12 years.

Bat shit crazy.

What do you do when your long lost friend visits home 3 years later with this on his breast?



Yeah this shit is permanent.

Another reason you should'nt go to WalMart.

WalMart sucks for many reasons. This is one that I can laught at.
I found this while enjoying my nightly web surfing:

"Some people that work here had a going away party the other day for a woman that is leaving.
One of the supervisors called a WalMart and ordered the cake. He told them to write: “Best wishes Suzanne” and underneath that write “We will miss you”. Here’s the cake that was delivered:"



Awesome.


Another note: I hade to miss another family get together due to work. Luckily, my sis made this video for me to so I did not feel like I missed out.

I like to call it "Auntie Rachel teaches baby how to bootie dance".



***************
Fun Fact: Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.

I wish he would stop.

<---- I found this image on Google, text already included, and yeah I can totally relate. Too bad this guy is the cause of my hatred of Mondays. I hate GameStop T.V. It is this stupid DVD full of game reviews that replays 50 times during my shift (Monday, 5-9). It's REALLY driving me crazy this month because the new Ozzy "I Don't Wanna Stop" music video (WHICH SUCKS) is included, which I have to hear 50 times a shift. Maybe I am the last person in the world to have pondered this, but how does Ozzy record new songs WHEN HE CAN'T SPEAK?!?!? EXAMPLE: (I have to idea who is translating this, but I think she is a liar)

Yeah, I won't lie. I own seasons 1 and 2 of The Osbournes on DVD. The special features include "The Ozzy Translator". This feature adds subtitles only when Ozzy gets on one of his famous muttering/stuttering fits. Without this feature, I would spend most of the show clueless as to what he is trying to say. But somehow when it is time to make a new album, he can sing in complete sentences.

Seriously, I smell a conspiracy.


On another note, Boy Toy is super sick. Send him some love.

****************
Fun Fact: TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Required Viewing.

Thank you, Six Degrees of Bacon!

Confused

I got an e-mail today explaining to me why I need to teach English in Japan.

"1 Bullet trains
Enjoy an incredible experience on the world's first high-speed super sleek train!

2 Traditional Ryokan hotels
Change into your kimono and you will be served a traditional Japanese meal sat at a traditional low table. Then unroll your sleeping mat and get some sleep!

3 Sumo wrestling
Visit one of the most prestigious Sumo training colleges in Tokyo. Enjoy the special stew wrestlers eat to build themselves up, if you can handle 5000 calories per bowl!

4.Pum Chu-Hai
The Japanese version of alcopop!"

Sleeping where I eat and on a mat=NOT FUN. Seriously, my back is so screwed I used to fantasize on a daily basis about marrying a chiropractor.

P.S. Maybe I live a sheltered life, but what ever alcopop is and 5000 calorie meals just don't seem to be in my best interests right now.

*********
Fun Fact: Because of a serious car accident involving a sumo wrestler, the Sumo Association banned wrestlers from driving their own cars.

Thanks, Christian.

You always brighten my day:





************
Fun Fact: B.T. and I got the hot news that there is a "Rock Band" demo up at Best Buy.
My college was closed due to a water main break.
I am so pumped; I feel like a little kid again!

The Fortune

I love Chinese food. Everything about it.

Fried crab cheese. Yum.

Pot Stickers. Yum.

Spicy Chicken in ginger and garlic sauce. Double Yum.

Your check comes with a fortune cookie. Super Yum.

The fortune cookie is an very important part of the meal. It's the last laugh you and your friends share before you pay up and go home. But seriously. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

For those of you who can't read the above, my thought provoking fortune does indeed say: "You can't aim a duck to death."

Am I crazy? Are ducks weapons? DO you AIM them??????????? I am so going to bed now.

*********************

Fun Fact: My new dream job would entail me writing fortune cookies for the Chinese.