Ghost Ridin'

Working at a grocery store sucks. Especially when your boss gets pissed and tells you that you must clean these dirty things:



Word of advice. Just bite your tongue and clean the dirty fuckers.
Do not attempt to Ghost Ride the Whip and get other people who should be working to join in.

I have learned that this behavior is severely frowned upon.


Reenactment begins at 1 minute exactly.

Grrr.

The Netflix site is down.
In an attempt to not off myself, I will be making cupcakes instead.
Come over.

Michael A. Doughnuts School for Degenerate Assholes

I should stop allowing photos of myself to be taken after three beers because my face contorts.





Everyone at my work has become uncreative and thinks that bowling is the only way to cure the winter blues. It was fun for a minute, but I suck at bowling all of a sudden, which sucks the fun out of it.



Mikey Doughnuts refuses to bowl ALWAYS. But he has played enough Club Keno to fund two whole schools.

So I have been getting this LONG religious emails/diary entries daily. At first I thought it was Butchie trying to get me all fired up, but then I realized it was this crackhead I met on the street. I really don't feel like typing the whole story out again but you can go here if you wish.
FYI, the e-mail Jesus guy in the one who "saved my dog" because I would not pray with him. The doorbell guy is the one that keeps trying to get into my house in the middle of the night.

Anyway, the guy kept asking for my phone number so he could talk me into praying, and I settled for just giving him my e-mail. I thought that he was homeless and crazy and did not know how to use the internet. Man, I am stupid.

I have been contemplating posting his insane e-mails, but the don't want a bunch of religious freaks Google-ing their way over here.

Okay, if I get another good one, I might have to post it........................
Or start him his own blog.

Winter is killing my social life.

Due to the seriously depressing first day of spring blizzard outside, I was forced to watch crappy YouTube videos and try to turn myself into a cartoon cat in hopes of sleeping and neglecting all responsibility.




Seriously, maybe I have been living in a secluded attic or something, but who the hell is Chris Crocker, and why does Seth Green and Jimmy Kimmel give a shit about him?
And why did you subject me to this, Jen?



Obviously, I am the last person in the world to see this video, but I still find it highly disturbing.

I think I will spend the remainder of my evening watching "Night of the Demon's"...



...and watch Boy Toy further his scientific dessert beverage experimentation.



Success! Well for him, I won't be drinking that, thank you.



I NEED SPRING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nerd ALERT!!

Story time.

At GameStop a.k.a. LameStop I was forced to come into work and help host a tournament for the Wii Super Smash Brothers release. Not only did this suck because it was at 10:00 on a Saturday night, but it was filled with stinky sweaty boys and nerdy men. Seriously, the whole store reeked of nerd and body odor.





J.T and I were setting up and decided to take a look at the trophy the winner was going to receive. And yes, it was a trophy of a wrestler!?! Did Nintendo just steal this from a local high school or something??? None of the guys playing have probably ever hit the gym once.

ANYWAY, the winner:



I made him take the toilet paper balls out of his ears before snapping his picture. He told me that if was ever so important that he put paper in his ears so the screaming and cheering never broke his concentration.
Then his mom told him it was time to go home. Yes, his mom waited for him the whole time. Yes, he is in his late twenties.

The End.

Cake is good.

I have been the laziest blogger lately. Sorry, guys.
And Butchie, if you find another chick to stalk you I will come to your house and decapitate you.
But anyway, I have posts saved that I start and never finish. Maybe I should should give them all to you at once.

Anyway, my two part birthday was radddddddddddddd.

Part one was and joint party for me and Alexia. I felt like it was my ninetieth birthday because my boss made us weed brownies instead of cake. Seriously, I do not think I have ate such culinary genius since high school. I was going to post pictures, but I look like a wasted waste.

Part two was the fams which was super rad. Jill made me a bad ass cake. Even Julius is edible:





I am 27 now, and feel free to tell me I look 21 and I don't look like I partied too hard.

xoxo

Requests

If any one wants to hurt a homeless dude, about 5'6, missing all of his front teeth but one, he will be hanging out in the Broadway/Lower Town area (yes, I got I letter saying I don't live downtown, I now live LOWERTOWN)(and no, I don't know what the hell LOWER TOWN means, I just live there).
He was last seen in my house this morning refusing to leave. Oh wait, then he went into David's (my neighbor's house) and came into his bathroom, while David was naked brushing his teeth.

I know I probably should but be putting hits out on people on the internet, but I can't handle him anymore.

P.S. And if anyone would like to make me a pizza that looks as cute as this, it would totally uplift my mood.

UPDATE: HOLY SHIT MAKE ME THIS:

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I did the unthinkable today.

I joined Netflix. Like I don't have enough DVD's.

I guess you can add friends on there, so if you are a lame-o like me, tell how we can be NetFlix friends so I can be nosey and spy on your movie queue.

I have so much to share, but I got to go to work soon. booooooooo.

P.S. Almost my BIRTH Day. woot.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Rarrrrrrrrrrrr.

To all of the concerned, yes I am living and well!
My computer has been on crack again, but I love you all and promise to post soon :)





xoxoxoxoxo

P.S. Hey you Flickr users, why when I set a photo to private, it will not be displayed on a external website, but everyone else on this planet can? Please teach me the way!