Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The pets in my house have taken over.

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Fatso Catso spends every night crying @ my bedroom door.
Turkey has developed an eating disorder; diagnosis: bulimia.
Sailor tried to commit suicide today:

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I left him alone for like 5 minutes so I could brush my teeth, and this is what he does to me.

I called the vet and she says "don't worry unless he starts vomiting."
Me: "Well he did, like twice".
Vet: "Is it projectile?"
Me: "Does it matter??????"

I will be spending the remainder of the day managing Sailors suicide watch and feeding him heart shaped dog treats to cheer him up. A least he did not do this to me:

Hunter recovers after being shot by dog (<--Link) AP DES MOINES, Iowa -
A hunter is recovering after he was shot in the leg at close range by his dog, who stepped on his shotgun and tripped the trigger, an official said Tuesday.

Blah. I have never been a fan of hunters anyway.

Fun Fact: Rin Tin Tin was the first Hollywood dog star and he really signed all 22 of his movie contracts with a paw print.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Guitar Hero 3 Training.

Instead of working on Monday nights, my boss and I have been training for the GH3 release.
Andrew gets discouraged easily, working with a pro and all.


Anyway, here is his current work in progress. Don't expect much, it is hard to hear and I am too lazy to add subtitles. Mostly I am planning to play this video on the T.V. @ work when he is not there. That's what he gets. He spends a lot of his shift challenging little kids to play against him and kicking their asses all over the place.

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Fun Fact: The state of my apartment:
Coach in proper place, leaving adequate room to rock out.
Right foot will be planted on the monitor (coffee table).
We shall rock so hard to everyone on my block will relocate to a safer place.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

My Knee Resembles The Planet I Live On.

How many people can they they came home to a sweet poster of their current favorite movie?
Seriously, this thing is almost as tall as me. B.T. is the shizz...

I was so pumped I started to break out in power ballad:

If you have been to my house, you are probably thinking "Dude, B.T. got that poster like 2 weeks ago". Yeah, well this is me 2 weeks ago and all I have had more important things on my mind, such as dogs is in Halloween costumes.

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P.S. Please do not make me tell you what movie poster this is. It may make me reconsider our friendship.

Fun Fact:
5 haunted exhibits and one week later my knee is still looking wicked:

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Not Missing, just badass.


My dog is way cooler, but whatever.

I don't know this dog, nor is he missing. From what I gather he is just out in the backyard being a bad ass. So bad ass that his owner had to share it with the hood.
I feel like we have so much in common.

Also speaking of bad ass things:

C-Money, I don't know if your are reading this, but they still exist, baby!!!!!!!!

Fun Fact: I am going to a Haunted Forest tonight. My ultimate goal is to wrestle a Werewolf.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Blah, Blah, Blah

To make a long story short, my little party digi-cam broke. This camera has always been handy for going out and I don't want to bring the Nikon because I always have a fear that a drunk person will drop it and smash it. Anyways, Polaroid does not make my party cam anymore . They sent me a replacement, which SUUUCKKKS. Thanks for nothing, Polaroid. (This will be important later.)

B.T. got free tickets to see Henry Rollins on Saturday. It was awesome!!! Henry is the only person who I have heard jibber-jabber for three hours and kept my attention the entire time. And from the balcony, he was looking a bit cute:

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Bad picture courtesy of Polaroid I-733. Here is another after the show:

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Where is the rest of my face and why do i look so white????....hmmm....I do not know.

I also thought that my morning was going to be boring, playing UNO and listening to Biggie Smalls. Wrong. Thanks to my Internet Explorer this news flash popped up in the fancy improved news ticker:

Dentist claims breast rubs appropriate AP - Fri Oct 12, 8:24 PM

ETWOODLAND, Calif. - A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases. Mark Anderson's lawyer says dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem.

And my dentist won't even properly fix my root canal........


Fun Fact: The averarge American drinks 600 "sodas" a year.


And I never use all caps, so this is serious f-ing business.

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My movie star boyfriend (Jason) was hanging out @ Borders with my fantasy partner in crime, Wes Anderson less than one mile from my house. This event was @ Borders on Oct. 15 and I heard about this on Oct. 19. Just thinking that something like this could happen without me knowing makes me want to burn Borders down. Thanks for the monthly "Border Rewards Members' newsletter. You tell me stupid shit about Harry Potter every month but fail to mention life altering events.

I am going to set fire to my Rewards card in the morning. Most likely before I even eat breakfast.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting<-----Bad ass skates.

Also on the same stupid block, American Apperal is selling some interesting Halloween costumes. But where they went wrong is they don't sell the best part of the outfit, THE PUMA ROLLERSKATES. They don't even sell them on their website. Teases. Seriously, these skates are AMAZING.

Fun Fact: Way to go Ben Summers, you got married today.

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Hottest Dress of the year.

Japanese inventions are so weird/awesome.

Fashion designer Aya Tsukioka made this bad ass dress that transforms into a vending machine.
When you see a potentional mugger/rapist late @ night, all you have to do is this:
Who knew it was that easy????
Fun Fact: Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.

It is not that hard of a job, boys.

GameStop a.k.a. LameStop is where I am every Monday from 5-9. It is the easiest job on the planet. You play/discuss/arrange/sell video games. So easy that a 6 year could work there. And someone with the brains of six year old is currently working there.

Customer: I want to get "Animal Crossing".

Me: Okay, let me pull that out of the drawer for you.

This should be a 20 second task. Everything in the drawer is filed in alphabetical order. A-Z. Easy as pie. But to my suprise the game is missing. Five uncomfortable minutes later, I finally locate the game, filed under the letter "F". That is odd, last time I checked "Animal Crossing" starts with the letter A.

I was unable to locate a game 4 times in a 4 hour shift due to the morons I work with.

Me: Bossman, this is out of order. Help me out here.

Bossman: Okay, I'll put out a memo right now. (as follows, written on reciept paper, taped to the counter, 2 feet long, 3 pictures stitched together)

I can't believe it has come to this.


Fun Fact: Pups are ever so fabulous. Special treat just for you, my lovies:

Which is your favorite?

Want to know mine? ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Yay for Haunted Houses. They rock so hard.
Wiards is pretty damn sweet. I almost got decapitated TWICE. Once on the hayride and again in "The Asylum". How many people can say that happened to them over the weekend? Uh, no one I know. She almost lost her head, too:

Yeah, this guy thought he would hang out @ the bathroom and try to kill poor girls. Nice try, buddy.

Later somehow the "Alien Caged Clowns" escaped from their cages and where allowed to roam free. It was weird that they were also hanging out by the girls bathroom. This Alien Clown tried to attack me! I quickly calmed him down by asking him if I could take his picture. He chilled out and just grunted. I asked him if he was going to choke me if I stood too close to him. He grunted.

I took my chances, the badass that I am:

Boy Toy had a bad ass time as well. This was his first adventure in Monsterville. I know you can't tell by his face, but he was totally pumped:

Yeah, he is totally scared. Not by the monsters, but by a traumatic experience that happened over the weekend. Ask us in person. It is funny (well at least to me it is).


Fun Fact: I am a f-ing master, baby.

These People Are Assholes

For the past week, these stupid power walkers have been meeting outside my bedroom window @ around 8:00. They talk too loud. They giggle @ nothing. They lean on my black car. In fact they are so loud I can hear them from my second floor apartment window:

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I have learned the following things about them:

Jerk A has a daughter @ NYU. "She is doing just amazing!"

Jerk B loves her new flip flops with toe support.

Jeck C likes to not eat @ the Northside Grill, but loves to drink the free coffee they put outside for customers who are waiting for a table.

For my Whole Foodies: to answer your questions/concerns: Jerk D (green shirt) may look like Mary Beth in Admin, but after further investigation, I have proven that to be false.

Luckily I has class @ 8 the next morning, so if I see them leaning on my car, I can rightfully take them out.

Fun/Gross Fact: After seeing this girl playing a game where you straddle a broom and ride like a witch, it totally grossed me out. Is this sanitary??? At least wear some pants, please.
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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Want to meet weirdo's?

Well, work @ Whole Foods Market. There are plenty to go around. Twice.

For example today, I was working next to my co-worker Rob, who loves to compliment his customers. He was ringing up a nice, quiet looking mid 40's woman and her husband. Rob hands the husband the bag of groceries, the husband walks off. The polite yet quiet woman slides her credit card. One cannot help but notice the masssive rock of a wedding ring on her hand.

Rob: Why, what a beautiful ring, mam!

Married Lady (who's face twisted into a creepy smile): Yeah, I swallow.

UM...TMI. A simple "thank you" would have been more then enough. Perv.


Fun Fact: I read an article that stated that Kevin Spacey's (<-----who I looooove) older brother is a "professional" Rod Stewart impersonator. I had no idea that there was a demand in this field of work. Lame-o.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007


This is what I ate today:

A grilled cheese sandwich.

Cheese pizza.

A slice of Colby Jack cheese.

2 pieces of three Cheese bread.

Doughnut (a gift from Boy Toy).

I think I have a problem.

I even Googled "cheese" and I found this scary image:

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Fun Fact: I am soooo pumped for Halloween!! And so are these guys:

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