Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I spend too much time on Craigs list.

Looking for a dead deer
Date: 2007-11-24, 9:34PM EST

Hello, I've said I was hunting out of town for the last 3 weeks, But I really haven't I've been in PA with my "other girl" My wife thinks I landed a big buck so I can't come home empty handed. My kids love to take a pic with the dear and I don't want to disappoint them, Please if you can help let make a deal.

Location: newbedford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 488443834

And this pic made my day. Amy Winehouse meets a young fan. Seriously, I wouldn't even let Amy watch my dog, let alone hang out with my kid all day.

That is all, from you friendly reporter, E Flo.
Stay classy, San Diego.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Braude is a dick.

Seriously, I checked out my SiteMeter stats, and I got a amazing amout of hits from weirdo's Googling "bobbing for roadkill" thanks to this old post. Hey Googler's, since you seem to know wtf bobbing for roadkill is, why don't you hit that "leave a comment" button down there and tell me what this means.

Every since I got my wisdom teeth pulled, I have been basically looking as haggard as I feel.


I LOVE waiting for an hour in Room 3 @ the Dr.'s office. Inside this tiny little room is the worst book ever written:


This book is described to be the " #1 guide to conversation with the worlds BEST jokes".
WRONG. I have read this piece of shit so many times while waiting and I have never laughed once. Most of the jokes are about woman or teenage girls. Seriously, if someone pulled out on the these lame-o stories on me, I would barf on their shoes. Twice.



Fun Fact: Thanks to Fark, I learned that if you go HERE and type "Heath Ledger is dead", something retarded happens.

UPDATE: Those bastards fixed it. It used to translate "Heath Ledger" into "Tom Cruise", which was kinda awesome, because I am so sick of the "TomKat" phenomena.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

You suck.

Sorry guys. I went into hibernation. Here is a little present so you will love me again.

Thanks, Dawn.

Friday, January 18, 2008

My Face has finally stopped hurting.

I thought that I posted this shiz, but I guess I saved it. That is what pain killers do to you.



So getting your wisdom teeth pulled SUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKS.
Especially when you have to sedate yourself at home and the pills don't work.


I look somewhat stoned here, but believe me, I was not.

So basically I was awake for the entire torture. Fun times.

The next morning I called into work because I work up resembling Rocky after a champion belt fight. I lost.


Nothing else really exciting here. Classes just started and I have become addicted to "Assassin's Creed" for XBOX 360, which has been sucking all my free time. I have a lot of pictures that I should be uploading, but my XBOX is calling me.

P.S. Anyone looking for a vagina couch to finish their living room decor? Just looking out for you all.


Sunday, January 13, 2008

I like to be a crybaby.

Holy snow!!!!!!!!

I am soooooooooooo sick of the city plowing snow into my parking spot. We are so over, Ann Arbor.

So recently I got a root and canal and I am awaiting a crown. Last night while eating some yummy pizza, a tiny chip of my sad tooth broke. It pretty much made me suicidal. Luckily, B.T. played tooth fairy and left $5.25 under my pillow because he is pretty much AWESOME.

ANYWAY, I went to the dentist ASAP this morning and they said p.s. those two wisdom teeth need to come out TOMORROW. Seeing as how the dentist is the scariest thing in the ENTIRE PLANET, I am not happy. At least I get to sedate myself before I go and B.T. gets to drag me into the dentist office, or I would probably not show up. Yep, I am a total baby.

Yep, you won't be seeing my face again for a while.

Yep, my wisdom teeth are getting ripped out in the morning.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Secret Lives.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

My boss, Mike has this secret life that only comes out when he is drinking.

Mike:"Did you know that you can get a hooker off Craig's List?"
Me: "What? YOU did?"
Mike: "No, no, no. This guy I know did. He is a pretty big guy and when she showed up she looked him in the face and said 'You pay what you weigh, and Baby, that is A LOT.' "

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Working Out.

I didn't make any New Years resolutions because I really did not feel like setting myself up for failure.

And then I saw this video, and thought hmmmm.... maybe I should work out.

My fav part of this nightmare is around 2:26 when she corrects her twin dogs form.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Brothers of the Head

I watched "Brothers of the Head" and I was pretty impressed.
If you feel like watching a fake documentary that takes place in the 70's involving some conjoined twins being recruited for a punk rock band, then this little gem is a match for you.

Now I have to go to the Dr. where he will totally smash my self esteem and probably cut me off my pain meds. I think that he is seriously overpaid.



Hell yes.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

I need a new apartment.

Sorry guys. Things have been pretty insane.

B.T. and I had a busy X-Mas week visiting both of our fams.
Sailor a.k.a. my four legged soul mate, had some kinda of intestinal hemorrhage and had to stay in the pet hospital. It was the GROSSEST think I have ever seen, and I have seen some crazy shit (maybe I will indulge you later). Anyway, he is feeling much better and I am ever so happy.


I was sitting on the computer last night cause I couldn't sleep and the doorbell started ringing. Hmmmm, who the fuck would be ringing my doorbell like a madman @ 4:45 a.m.?
I looked down the stairs and some old man was looking in my window asking me to talk to him. I told him that he was crazy and turned the light out. Then he opens the letterbox and starts yelling through it and ringing the buzzer non stop. I said "what do you want" and he just wanted me to come and talk so I said fuck this and got B.T. out of bed. He went to talk to the old bum and all the toothless fucker wanted is a dollar, which he is not getting. Sorry, stalking me in the middle of the night and waking up my neighbors in the process is not how one makes friends.
Seriously, I need a new apartment. I had this freak "save" Sailor the other day. And by save I mean put his hand on my dogs head and say a salvation prayer because I refused to hold his hand and chant. And this was at 8:00 a.m.

Weirdo's never ever sleep.