Not another you-know-who

Angry wife jailed after biting husband's you-know-what -- South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com

Links please!!

So have not been blogging because I have has some issues with my blogger account.

ALL of my links in the "blogs i like" section are MISSING. PLEASE send me a link to your blog again so I can read your blog and have the happiness you once gave me back.

Thanks! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Photoshop rules

Um yeah, I don't ever remember this chick having abs....



And what a crybaby! "How did I let this happen again?" She can give me some over her huge salary and I can tell her exactly how this happened. Again.

love love love

I have an urge to make out with the cab driver who drove me home Saturday night.
Was it because he recognized me from me work?
OH NO, it was not.
Was it because he forgot to turn on the meter for the first mile and a half?
NO, but it was nice, even though it was an accident.
Well, why?
Because he did remember were I worked and was kind enough to drive my cell phone up there and give it to my boss! What a gentleman!


November is "Punch Out" Month! Hoooray!

Oh Whitney,

Whats with the clown shirt?
Oh yeah, and this one:

I have lots-o-pics.

SOMEONE STOLE MY OBAMA SIGNS!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!




ewww. take you effin nail polish off, will ya?


It's my dog! A gift from Jill :)


Turtles at Midnight? Anyone?

Bitch!!!!!!

Are you kidding me???

Cold.

My youngest sister and I spent over an hour on my roof watching this crazy church guy hold a prayer group at the corner of Broadway and Swift. The group got broken up a lot; people would get pissed when Capt. Wacko would want to hold their hands and he would be forced to cling to the next passerby. I went in to grab and beer and realized I would rather be on the couch under a blanket.
It is getting cold too fast, and my roof, the Private Spy Observation Deck, will be closing soon this year. Ahhh, If I could only rig a heater up there.

Sailor!

I have been thinking about getting another dog. I don't think Sailor could handle it. He tried to bite a cute fat English Bulldog yesterday just because I pet him. I don't know what to do!! I want a colony of puppies with big, silly googley eyeballs. TONS.

I have two nights left to get my fill of Haunted Houses. I am going back to Wiards tonight, and hopefully it was as rad as it was last year!!!! Wish me luck; I plan on wrestling a werewolf. xo.

Putt Putt

Sailor looks like such a stud in his newest life vest. Ever since I found out the French Bulldogs sink, not swim, canoe trips have become slightly panic inducing.





It was really warm for like 30 minutes the other day.
Oh Fall, how I will miss you.

Cheaters.

Boy Toy and I were doing some dog sitting and enjoying having our brains melted by cable tv. There was a "Cheaters" marathon on. I am proud to say that this was the first time I had ever witnessed this garbage. Have you guys?????
Anyway, I had to stop watching when the camera crew comes and busts this dude cheating on his girlfriend, and the cheating boyfriend stabs the host. There was a little note at the end that stated the gray haired host dude is alive and well and will continue his important career of busting cheaters.

B.T. believes that it is 100% true t.v.!!! and I just can't believe it.
What do you think??

He is a big softy...

Once you give this tuffff guy a few beers, he turns into a big baby.



C: Every time I see the new girl, she is having the most intense conversation with a different man. I mean she has only worked here for like 2 weeks.
Me: I know, we have been here like three years and I don't know half of these guys.
C: How does she know them all so intimately?
Me: Maybe she gives out HJ's on her lunch break???


Two Girls, One Kernel.

um.....

Next to my locker at work there is a room with a new sign on the door that says "Lactation Station".

I will NEVER enter, no matter how curious I am.

Cute!

OMG OMG.
Go.
Now!

At the Grand Opening of the

new Whole Foods, there was almost 75o people waiting in a line to get in.

Me trying to get into work and grabbed up by an old lady.

Old Hag:THERE IS A LINE. I HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR A HOUR.
Me: I have to go to work here.
Just to set the record straight, it is a store not a ride and if there is a store that lets one person in at a time, let me know, because all 750 of those people had to come in a shop together. oh no.

Back to the old grind...

Instead of collecting magnets or spoons, I think I should collect state Sheriff badges. They really could come in handy.



The I-80 is the ugliest piece of shit that I have ever drove on. It smelled like farm.

Anyway. I finally got a Dr. note saying that I could go back to work, and is suuuuuuuuucks. This old dad maybe grandpa-like black man that looks like a healthier version of the old drug dealer from "Requiem For a Dream" has been annoying me at work. You know, the character that is only dude in the state with heroin, and he hooks Jennifer Connelly up with that stripping for drugs job? He is fucking scary.

Anyway, he came in the first day and insisted that we used to date.
NO NO NO NO NO old fucking man/geriatric.
Then he came back and asked me if I could please try to stay out of his dreams.
Yesterday he asked me if I could recommened something sweeter than me.
I almost barfed.

Utah.

And the story continues.... we made it through 200 miles of no exits, phone service, gas, bathrooms breaks, etc of Utah canyons. It was freaking scary. Luckily there was a sign stating that there was no service for a very long time.



The trucks are so tiny in comparison.






The Runaway Truck signs were really freaking me out. Take me to flat land, please.
While I was having a heart attack in the mountains, my sister Rachel was potentially being killed in a hostel in Costa Rica. She captured these signs, which made my day:

Car Games.

Ready for a long drive?
P.S. We (me, Dawn, and Bizzy the Cat) took the top route.





oooooooooh, but not too lazy to post this:



xoxo

Stay Classy, San Diego.

chair????

I love California.
I met a girl cat named Holyfield that had a chunk of her ear missing.
Everyone drinks crappy beers and tapes them together to make a wizard staff.
Like this:



Anyway, Dawn and I spent the day walking on the beach. We tried to go swimming but the water was freezing and everytime the waves would push me over I thought I would become an ice cube and coke and die.







It's like 80 everyday and hasn't rained in like 5 months. I could live here.

"and it was ummmm, better than my first kiss."

Here is an episode of Intervention I have not see yet!!!!!

Peter is addicted to video games. It has gotten so bad that he refers to himself as characters that are in the games he plays.



2:19-creepy.

I love it when Peter's dad asks him "How much Halo have you done today?"

What is the craziest episode you have ever seen? I have been watching them on YouTube nonstop!

Love it!

Cake Wrecks

Dancing Queen.

I almost got in a car accident today. I was driving on the express way and a construction worker jumped out of nowhere holding a slow sign. Then two more workers jumped out next to him. As I SLAMMED on my brakes, my eyes finally focused out of panic state and I saw that they fuckers were taking turns break dancing.

Hahahahaha GO HERE NOW and just look at the police sketch. Do it!

Tips

I wish someone would get knocked up so I could buy this for them........