I want to barf.

Setting: my lunch break, in a room full of computers.

Manager @ work(who's dating my co-worker): Watch my seat @ the computer please.
Me: Whatev.

While I am waiting for the fucker to come back, some skank sends him the following instant message: (just like this in all caps):
"I REALLY ENJOYED SLEEPING WITH YOU."

I quickly closed the i.m. window.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THIS.
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT HIM, THE SKANK OR MY CO-WORKER.

I feel blah. Here's a better day.
Me, when I was fat 3 years ago cause I ate way too much pizza in Chicago.
Slices bigger than my face.
Anyway, I totally was feeling up this stud till some mom with like 8 kids gave me a dirty look. Totally ruined the mood:



Oh, Lego man, your tie was shit, but damn you ruled.