This goofball has been my Boy Toy for 4 years now.
As an anniversary gift, he was sweet enough to tell his boss, mom and sister that I was pregnant. I AM NOT.
What an asshole. I almost called off Christmas. If I get booties in my stocking or a second plate of helpings at dinner, I am so fucking out of there.
Question: If there is a bad baby that you know of, and the baby is not present, is it okay to refer to that baby as an "asshole"?
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5 comments:
I think "little shit" is more apt. I think assholenss can only be properly exicuted as an adult. Although, I have found myself calling teens "fucking little asshole" at some all ages shows. This is because teenage boys are disgusting little cretins with bad attitudes and extrordinarily high levels up dumbnity.
Your Boy Toy sounds like someone I could drink beer with. He should run for President.
My vajayjay is allergic to babies. B.T. should be beaten.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_overjoyed_by_giant_uterine
and... this is how I deal with children:
Dealing with screaming kids is a very simple. I developed a simple way to handle young children when my daughter was at that "not so nice" age that all kids go through. I still use it to this day when eating out and I see kids not listening to their parents. I walk over to the table. I politely ask if I can interupt. Most parents are relieved to have some kind of intervention. I look directly into the eyes of the offending child. I calmly say, "If you keep up this behavior, I will have to kill your mother, too." I pause for a moment and wait for the "too" to skin in the little brat's head. At the moment of realization, I slice the father's throat. There is nothing like the spray of hot, steaming, blood across the face of a little whelp to shut him/her up. As the kids look on in horror I scream, "DO YOU WANT YOUR WHORE OF A MOTHER TO BE NEXT? DO YOU, YOU SELFISH LITTLE MONSTER! REMEMBER THAT THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT!" Then I calmly go back to my table and finish dinner.
Holy fuck Mimi, that was just amazing.
I can't top that comment where that girl kills someone.
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